Leaving Your Selfie Behind

When you look back through old photo albums you never see a selfie, unless it was your grandmother who had absolutely no idea how to work that darned contraption and had it pointed in the wrong direction and snapped a pic of herself with an entertainingly perplexed look forever frozen in time.

When did selfie’s become a THING?  It is completely acceptable to stop, drop, and selfie whenever and wherever you may find yourself to be.   We have selfies to document the moments of our life from the biggest to most mundane of days.

I have stated many times that I am thankful there was no social media during my high school years as I know, even without really KNOWING, that it…..I…..would have been a train wreck on display.  The embarrassing moments of my life live on in flashes of memory that I wish I could erase and not a day goes by that I don’t thank my lucky stars that my moments of sheer insanity are not forever emblazoned on the interwebs for my children to see.  However, there are so many more moments that I wish I had the ability to go peak back into time to see who I was and what I was up to.  Booster Day parades and dances with friends, goofing off in study hall, wandering the neighborhoods late at night just talking and laughing about nothing with all of the right people, and quiet introspective moments staring at the rows and rows of pink flowers papered to my bedroom walls pondering the weight of the world.  Who was that girl?  What would my children think of her had they the opportunity to scroll back through the years on my Facebook wall to see what I’d posted…..
“Another fight with Bill…..”

“Got kicked out of French class again.  I’m getting good at this!”

“Mall with Lisa, Lisa, Janice, & Tracy!”

“Andy’s dog gave me a black eye a week before Prom!!!!  I hate that dog…  :(”

And how wonderful would it be to be able to peak into the lives of those that came before us:  our parents and our grandparents?  To see what they were like before they became the person we knew before they became their labels.

I have always been a bit of the storyteller of the family.  I’m the one that always asks for people to share them and I have retold them down the line.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that the tale gets distorted a bit based on how we’ve managed to process it and how we view it in hindsight.  My grandmother once told me that she and my biological grandfather would fight so badly that my father would sneak his younger brother out the window to the neighbors.  In hindsight she could look upon it in sadness that life was that rough for her and for them.  In the moment??  What was she thinking?  If she were to have posted a selfie, with the drunk old bastard finally passed out in the chair in the background, cigarette dangling from his lips, how would she have captioned that?  Was she wishing that lit cigarette would just fall onto the fabric, start smoldering, and take the whole house down with him?  Or did she love him and wished he would just change?

My parent’s engagement & wedding:  That story has always had two sides.  Two very, different sides.

My mother’s version:  He was the boy of her dreams.  She had been “after” that cute boy from Turners forever before they started dating, even driving her car by wherever she thought he would be until he finally noticed her and asked her out.

My grandmother’s version:  That slut from Greenfield (this in itself a bit of a slander on her part) that got knocked up on purpose to trap her perfect oldest son.

Being able to see what their friends had to say about it at the time would give a very different perspective and most likely change the story from the one I grew up with.  To see how happy she was to be marrying him, their Once Upon a Time and the start of their Happily Ever After before it turned into the Nightmare on Bridge Street.  It would be nice to have a reminder of the love rather than the brutal end that remains etched in my memories.  It would be nice to even know what my mother was thinking and going through even through those years that she struggled as both a woman and mother and get to view them through the compassionate eyes of a fellow single mother warrior, rather than the child that felt left behind.


There is without a doubt a bit of narcissism to social media and what we post for all the world to see, but it is a peak into our minds and our hearts and it gives us the ability to show people who we are and what we care about.  Is it always real?  No….I think some people put on a mask and only put on a good show, but that in itself is telling about who a person is.

I have been on Facebook since 2008.  What will you see if you scrolled through my timeline?

My children, lots of lacrosse and wrestling (OK, maybe I don’t care much about wrestling, but I do care about the wrestler), my fur babies, hanging out in parks after hours with my friends remembering how important it is to let loose and have FUN once in a while, corny inspirational quotes, kayaking, sunsets, camping and hiking, poison ivy updates, weddings, blog posts, and now lots and lots of babies (and those just keep coming!!).

That’s pretty much me.  What is the story that your selfie is leaving behind?

3 thoughts on “Leaving Your Selfie Behind

  1. So true! I hate those orchestrated images that just have no depth. yes they’re often very nice images, but I find them more to be an expression of art. When I take pictures with my family or friends, I want it to be natural. To show us having fun and to show us being in the moment so that when I look back at it I have a clear memory attached to it. Recently a friend told me how she went to a seminar and the speaker showed this image of these 3 beautiful women and they’re all smiling and looking gorgeous. And the speaker said how those three women, of which she was one, were all going through absolute trauma at the time. One had lost her birth, one was just told her husband was leaving and the other had severe depression. And yet here was this orchestrated image of these women on the beach suggesting something wonderful was happening when it wasn’t. Not everything in our life needs to be perfect I think. Lovely post.


    1. Ahhhh…. but was the picture of them happy and smiling a moment when their friendship and love for being with one another made them forget all about the other things they were going through? 🙂 a picture is merely open to interpretation by the person that is viewing it!


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