Dear Ex-Husband: 10 Reasons Why You Think I Am a Bitch (But, I’m Really Not)

 

  1. Leaving You: I finally came to my senses.  This seemed to have come as a surprise, although I have no idea why.  After eleven years of dealing with you even Mother Theresa would have been at the end of her rope.
  2. Lunch Money: After we split up you thought it was my responsibility to pay for all of the kid’s school lunches even on days they were “with” you.  Did you need me to come cook dinner for you and the wife too??
  3. Presents: You were the Cool Dad buying the kids fun stuff like phones, IPods, and PS3’s while I got to buy them socks and underwear and pants for Christmas, ‘cause well….they’re kinda important.  But hey….naked or not, they had the latest technology!
  4. Child support: You had the audacity to ask me for receipts for what I spent that ungodly pittance on, because I was Oh so very obviously living the high life in my mobile home with electricity and orange shag carpet and driving around in a mini-van.   My bad…..I was supposed to buy your shorty Tyco with your money.
  5. Family Court: I summoned you there so often that the Judge would actually recognize me around town and address me by name.  After our appearances in court you would always complain that Judges are always tougher on fathers.  Yeah……that’s definitely what it was, Buddy.
  6. Sports & School Events: You thought they were an infringement upon “your” time and didn’t think they needed to go or that you needed to bring them.  I had much more power than I thought if I could sway an entire sports league and a school district to infringe upon “your” time.  If I had only known I had this power I would have used it for far better things like serving wine at the concession stand or at school Open Houses.
  7. Senior Night: You showing up to the last home event of one of our children’s high school career as the proud parent even though you had only seen three games played in seven years.  (The pictures were fabulous.  Thank God for Photoshop).
  8. Graduation: It’s OK, it wasn’t important enough for you to show up anyway.  Since you work for yourself you probably wouldnt have been able to talk the boss into taking it off anyway.
  9. Weddings: Watching my beautiful daughter begin to walk down the aisle, choking up and a tear forming in my eye, and having your wife start babbling about how “we” raised an amazing daughter.  Now, please keep in mind that I had a step-dad that for a great deal of my life I considered a father and IF this statement actually rang the least bit true at all, I would have not had an issue with it.  However, it did not and I did give her the look of death that my (our) mother-in-law caught and later told me she was proud of me for not actually strangling her to death.  I must have been channeling Ghandi or Yoda or something.
  10. Children Becoming Adults: They turn 18 and just when I thought I was free and clear of having to deal with your BS, I’m not.  It lingers, like a grandchild’s dirty diaper that you can’t even be bothered to change even though you’ve been holding them for the past half hour and you hand them to me….because you “don’t do diapers”.  (Gee…I totally didn’t remember that from having three children with you.)

 

Going through everything I did during the divorce I really, REALLY tried not to talk shit or share information about child support issues (and there were plenty) to anyone but close friends.  I tried not to tell the kids about things that kids shouldn’t know.  I’ve given advice to friends about not crossing that line, because once you do you can’t take it back and your kids pay the price.  You never followed those rules.  You did your best to sabotage relationships.  You didn’t back up discipline that I handed out for things that were deserved.  You were the good guy.  Their buddy.  But the kids are older now.  They know. How does that feel?

The children were my priority, they were your pawns.

You robbed them.

My hope for you is that you will someday see all that you missed with them and continue to miss because of your choices.  I hope you realize that your actions, not my reaction, led to all of this.

I stood up for myself.  I left because it was the right thing to do.  You’ve always said I was a bitch and that I was selfish.  I was and I will be when it comes to taking care of and protecting my children.

I hope that my children have learned from our mistakes (yes, I made some too) as I learned from my own parents.

I hope that other people have been witness to our story and have learned from it.

I hope that maybe someone is reading this and they are either chuckling at my misery or they are taking a step back from their own situation and making a decision to make different, better choices.

And lastly, I hope that you know that there are a lot of things in this world that I care about, but what you think of me???  I don’t care at all.  I haven’t for a very long time.  So call me whatever you want.


24 thoughts on “Dear Ex-Husband: 10 Reasons Why You Think I Am a Bitch (But, I’m Really Not)

  1. It must be a great feeling to know your children now see all you did, and what he didn’t! I hope writing this helped you in a way. I’m a child of divorce, but luckily my dad wised up and became more active in my life before it was too late!

    Like

  2. This was awesome, while I myself don’t have an ex husband, I am a daughter of divorce and I think its hilarious how my dad thinks my mom is the biggest bitch when she isn’t and all of this, I can see where you are coming from.
    Loved reading this

    Like

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