To Whom I May Have Offended….. #sorrynotsorry

Lightening things up a little because, well….things have been a little heavy lately.

I was walking down the hallway the other day when someone jokingly told me that my outfit clashed.  It might have had something to do with my plaid coat and flowery dress.  I looked down at my outfit.  I laughed.  I wish I could say it was a new feeling, but it wasn’t.  I always thought people were just commenting on my uniqueness.  I never even once thought that it was because they were kind of picking on me and I actually didn’t match (gasp)!

I’ve known for a few years that I was color blind to shades of black, grey, blue, brown, and green.  In the right light I can kind of tell the difference.

  • I once wore a pair of shoes (or so I thought) and didn’t find out until the afternoon that one was black and one was brown. I stopped buying similar pairs of shoes.
  • There was the grey or green aforementioned plaid jacket debate of 2010 (that I still wear and still ask people about because I am CONVINCED that it is grey and one of these days I’m going to find someone that agrees with me).
  • The most recent color debate? The new streaks in my hair:  pink or purple?

Does it matter to me that people are secretly mocking my fashion choices either behind my back or to my face?  Nope.  If I think it’s pink I’m going to match it with something that I think goes with pink and to hell with you all.  My fascination with this topic revolves more around the fact that I am 46 years old and I’m just learning this out about myself now.  How did I not learn this before now?  Is it late onset color blindness?  Have I always been this way?  Did I dress my children in cartoonish color combinations when they were little and cause them to be teased too?  What will happen if I ever encounter a bomb that needs to be deactivated and I can’t tell the difference between the blue and the green wire, I snip the wrong one and am blown to bits?  How could I have not known this was a possibility before?

The endless implications led me to put my sisters on the spot the other day and ask them if this was a pre-existing condition or if I have been degenerating in my older age.  They confirmed that indeed I had been born with this affliction and that they had always attributed it to me……just being me.

My first thought……”Why, why, WHY would you not mention this to me before?”

And then it hit me.  THIS is unconditional love.  They have always just accepted me for the weird little kid I was and grew up to be (I haven’t changed much……).  They never thought I needed to change that.

So to those I may have offended in the past with my wild and crazy color combinations I’m kinda sorry, but not really.  I will always do me no matter what anyone thinks.

To those that let me be me without questioning why (albeit probably chuckling a little behind my back), you rock.

To those that were honest and helped me to learn more about my weird self, you’re pretty damn cool too.

We all have our stuff, the things that make us “US”.

What other people think about you……never matters.  What you think about you does!

So allow yourself to be weird and own it (even if you clash).  ❤



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